Would you look at him? Sittin' there with his hooter scrapin' away at that book!*

K did a little list of books and out of curiosity, I did it for myself. Bold for the ones I've read, underlined for the ones I read for school, italics for the ones I never finished. Also copying K, I bolded and underlined the ones I read for school but then re-read (or, actually read) for myself.

Most of the ones I never finished are still sitting on my bookshelf with their bookmarks in place. But I'm reading White Noise right now, so they will stay where they are. BTW, the front desk guy at the vet's told me White Noise was his favorite book and I think nearly wet himself or started crying when he saw me with it. So....yay?

Oh, and the list is from LibraryThing where people list their books. These are the most commonly unread books listed. Some of that is not surprising (hey, Ulysses!), some of it is (seriously, you can't get through Catch-22 or Brave New World? They're like 20 pages each!)

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
Anna Karenina
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Crime and Punishment
Wuthering Heights
Catch-22
The Silmarillion
Don Quixote
The Odyssey
The Brothers Karamazov
Ulysses
War and Peace
Madame Bovary
A Tale of Two Cities
Jane Eyre
The Name of the Rose
Moby Dick
Emma
The Iliad
Vanity Fair
Love in the Time of Cholera
The Blind Assassin
Pride and Prejudice
The Historian: A Novel
The Canterbury Tales
The Kite Runner
Great Expectations
Life of Pi
The Time Traveler’s Wife
Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies
Atlas Shrugged
Foucault’s Pendulum
Dracula
The Grapes of Wrath
Frankenstein
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
Mrs. Dalloway
Sense and Sensibility
Middlemarch
Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books
The Count of Monte Cristo
The Sound and The Fury
Memoirs of a Geisha
Brave New World
Quicksilver
American Gods
Middlesex
The Poisonwood Bible
Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West
The Picture of Dorian Gray
Dune
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
The Satanic Verses
Mansfield Park
Gulliver’s Travels
The Three Musketeers
The Inferno
The Corrections
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
The Fountainhead
Tess of the D’Urbervilles
Oliver Twist
To the Lighthouse
A Clockwork Orange
Robinson Crusoe
Persuasion
The Scarlet Letter
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
The Once and Future King
Anansi Boys
Atonement
The God of Small Things
A Short History of Nearly Everything
Cryptonomicon
Dubliners
Oryx and Crake
Angela’s Ashes
Beloved
Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
In Cold Blood
Lady Chatterley’s Lover
A Confederacy of Dunces
Les Misérables
The Amber Spyglass
The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli
Watership Down
Beowulf: A New Verse Translation
The Aeneid
A Farewell to Arms
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
Treasure Island
David Copperfield
Sons and Lovers
Possession
The Book Thief
The History of Tom Jones
The Road
Tender is the Night
The War of the Worlds

*This is from one of me favorite movies. Many, many cookies if you can guess it. The hint is that you have to pronounce it "booo-k."

Fun With MadLibs

Today I went to the BARBRI. It was sooo BARBRI. I saw my friend BARBRI as I was BARBRIing the BARBRIs at the BARBRI. I said, “Hey, BARBRI, what are you doing here at the BARBRI?” He said, “What else would I be BARBRIing? I’m a BARBRIing BARBRI BARBRI who BARBRIs BARBRI BARBRI, BARBRI.” And I said, “Tell me about it. Fuckin’ BARBRI.”

The end.

The Robo-Boogie

Yesterday I took at kickboxing class at the gym. I think it was called something like “I WILL KEEL YOU! I WILL KEEL YOU DEAD!” I figured it would be hard. I didn’t figure that I would throw up a bit in my mouth.

So this morning I had to waddle to the doctor’s office to have him look at my sore throat. TF is scared to death that it’s mono and that I will breathe germy death all over him. Thank you, but I will not.

Anyway, so I kinda love my doc. He says really awkward things but doesn’t realize how really awkward they are because he’s one of those people who’s really smart but that’s about it. Doesn’t do the social thing too well. The awesome thing is that that makes it totally ok to kind of laugh because you feel so awkward but also at the same time at him because he’s making it so awkward. You know?

So the doc is looking at my neck and nose and mouth and starts squeezing aforementioned bits and then he pokes at my shoulders and goes “Is that a rash?” and without pause goes on “Oh, no. That’s just your complexion.”

So of course I start laughing and go “What did you just say?” and he’s all “It’s just your skin. You know.” Because that makes the situation BETTER.

And I also love my doc because when he asked me if I was taking anything for the sore throat and I responded Benadryl he goes “Ooh, good choice,” in a totally unironic but completely excited manner. Like I just told him I brought him cookie dough ice cream. “Yes! Good call! I LOVE ice cream!”

So then I shuffle off to the grocery store to my favorite Salad Bar in the world and make myself the Best Salad Ever which is this: lettuce (but only the really green kind and none of that crunchy white middle crap), spinach, dried cherries, carrots, tofu, kidney beans, garbanzo beans, crunchy stick things, sprouts, croutons, and “Low Cal Fat Italian” as the salad dressing bottle describes itself.

Then I’m at the bus stop with my groceries and salad, eyeing the old man with the cane to see if he’s gonna take the last seat on the bench. He is not. Victory! I ease myself down and open my salad and juice and the guy next to me goes “No wonder you look so healthy!”

Now, I don’t know what that means. I especially don’t know what it means coming from an 80 year old, overweight man smoking a pipe at the bus stop. But I will take it. I will take it better than rashy skin, anyhow.

Also, I forgot to mention that I participated in the latest Mixtape Project on "The Future." It was one of the harder themes for me, for some reason. I wanted to do "The Office" but was denied. Anyway, here was my offering:

1. I Predict a Riot (Kaiser Chiefs cover) - Cheshire Chord Company
2. Here Today Gone Tomorrow - M.O.P.
3. Future is in the Future - Electric Six
4. Song for a Future Generation - Chicks on Speed
5. Future Bolt - Hotpipes
6. I Don't Wanna Grow Up (Ramones cover) - Cold War Kids
7. Going On - Gnarls Barkley
8. If She Wants Me - Belle & Sebastian
9. This Time Tomorrow - The Kinks
10. The Future Pt. 1 - Voxtrot
11. Forever Young - Youth Group
12. I Will Follow You Into the Dark - Death Cab for Cutie
13. Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap
14. Signing Off - Oliver Future
15. Here Comes the Future - The Honeydrips
16. [Special Bonus Track] Robots - Flight of the Conchords