Yesterday I took at kickboxing class at the gym. I think it was called something like “I WILL KEEL YOU! I WILL KEEL YOU DEAD!” I figured it would be hard. I didn’t figure that I would throw up a bit in my mouth.
So this morning I had to waddle to the doctor’s office to have him look at my sore throat. TF is scared to death that it’s mono and that I will breathe germy death all over him. Thank you, but I will not.
Anyway, so I kinda love my doc. He says really awkward things but doesn’t realize how really awkward they are because he’s one of those people who’s really smart but that’s about it. Doesn’t do the social thing too well. The awesome thing is that that makes it totally ok to kind of laugh because you feel so awkward but also at the same time at him because he’s making it so awkward. You know?
So the doc is looking at my neck and nose and mouth and starts squeezing aforementioned bits and then he pokes at my shoulders and goes “Is that a rash?” and without pause goes on “Oh, no. That’s just your complexion.”
So of course I start laughing and go “What did you just say?” and he’s all “It’s just your skin. You know.” Because that makes the situation BETTER.
And I also love my doc because when he asked me if I was taking anything for the sore throat and I responded Benadryl he goes “Ooh, good choice,” in a totally unironic but completely excited manner. Like I just told him I brought him cookie dough ice cream. “Yes! Good call! I LOVE ice cream!”
So then I shuffle off to the grocery store to my favorite Salad Bar in the world and make myself the Best Salad Ever which is this: lettuce (but only the really green kind and none of that crunchy white middle crap), spinach, dried cherries, carrots, tofu, kidney beans, garbanzo beans, crunchy stick things, sprouts, croutons, and “Low Cal Fat Italian” as the salad dressing bottle describes itself.
Then I’m at the bus stop with my groceries and salad, eyeing the old man with the cane to see if he’s gonna take the last seat on the bench. He is not. Victory! I ease myself down and open my salad and juice and the guy next to me goes “No wonder you look so healthy!”
Now, I don’t know what that means. I especially don’t know what it means coming from an 80 year old, overweight man smoking a pipe at the bus stop. But I will take it. I will take it better than rashy skin, anyhow.
Also, I forgot to mention that I participated in the latest Mixtape Project on "The Future." It was one of the harder themes for me, for some reason. I wanted to do "The Office" but was denied. Anyway, here was my offering:
1. I Predict a Riot (Kaiser Chiefs cover) - Cheshire Chord Company2. Here Today Gone Tomorrow - M.O.P.
3. Future is in the Future - Electric Six
4. Song for a Future Generation - Chicks on Speed
5. Future Bolt - Hotpipes
6. I Don't Wanna Grow Up (Ramones cover) - Cold War Kids
7. Going On - Gnarls Barkley
8. If She Wants Me - Belle & Sebastian
9. This Time Tomorrow - The Kinks
10. The Future Pt. 1 - Voxtrot
11. Forever Young - Youth Group
12. I Will Follow You Into the Dark - Death Cab for Cutie
13. Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap
14. Signing Off - Oliver Future
15. Here Comes the Future - The Honeydrips
16. [Special Bonus Track] Robots - Flight of the Conchords
4 comments:
that post was all over the place. who do you think you are? jack kerouac?
You will take your posts as you get them and you will like them.
If your favorite salad bar is the one I think it is, you're out of your mind.
as soon as i started reading your list for 'the future' the first song that popped into my head was: 'robots' ~ flight of the conchords.
thank you for including it. those lucky lucky ear recipients.
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